Breaking News: Pat Robertson Is Still An Idiot.

Every morning after a pleasant 12-hour sleep dominating his humans' bed, Bodhi likes to get up and do the Downward Dog. After all, he is a Dog. Turns out, according to Pat Robertson, Bodhi may be communing with the Devil when he does this. Check out this video:

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2007/11/29/pat-robertson-not-down-wi_n_74527.html

Bodhi's Not Nostradamus, But...

So, Bodhi's been thinking lately about the Democrat primary. And even though he wasn't alive four years ago, he remembers how Howard Dean was the front-runner, almost the presumptive Democratic choice. He was leading the polls. And then the Iowa caucuses happened. Bodhi won't mention the scream (he, too, tends to howl for no reason from time to time) but all of a sudden Ho-De was yesterday's news, and the more electable John Kerry was the front-runner. Now, Bodhi's not Nostradamus, but he's got a strange feeling something similar will happen with Hillary. Maybe it'll end up being a Tom Bradley-type thing, where voters say they'll cast their ballot for Hillary, but once in the booth they'll really start thinking, and end up casting their ballot for someone more "electable" that could, ironically (if you think in terms of race, with the reason people didn't vote for T.B. was because he was black) be Barack Obama. There's just something about Obama that excites Bodhi politically...he just can't help it. I guess we'll all see in a few months. Arghhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!! (a shout-out to Ho-De).

Happy Thanksgiving

If Bodhi plays his cards right, he might get some giblets. Namaste!

Bodhi's Heart Will Go On

The Pentagon has been sending letters to wounded soldiers, asking them to reimburse the Defense Department for signing bonuses, because the wounds the soldiers suffered means they won't be able to complete their duties in Iraq. No joke.
This reminds Bodhi of what happened after the Titanic sank. The White Star Line actually sent letters to the families of crew members who drowned, asking to be reimbursed for the cost of the crew members' uniforms.
'Nuff said.

Good Guys and Bad Guys

The U.S. Supreme Court has agreed to review a Washington D.C. gun ban. Because of the way George Dubya has stacked the court, Bodhi is guessing The Nine will come down in favor of the NRA gun nut lobby. It baffles Bodhi, really. The gun nuts always say gun laws restrict access for the "good guys," and that the "bad guys" always manage to get their hands on illegal guns anyway. Bodhi is here to announce that life is not a Western, with the good guys wearing white hats, and the bad guys wearing black ones. A "good guy" can own a gun that's not locked up, and his three-year-old can find it and blast himself or one of his little friends. Someone can look like a "good guy," working a job, having a family, with a gun rack and Nascar sticker on his car. But if his wife leaves him, he can use his legally-owned gun to kill her. Is he then a bad guy? Guns don't kill people. Bullets do.

Neighbors, Not Statistics

Senator John McCain said yesterday that he knows the surge in Iraq is working because the Democrats have stopped linking him with the "stategery" of troop build-up. Huh? So many things wrong with this statement, so Bodhi will go slow. First of all, why in the world is McCain trying to conjure up those images of him dressed like Mr. Rogers with a flak jacket, surrounded by heavily armed troops, visiting Iraq back in April, in his truly Dukakis-in-a-tank moment? Second, maybe Democrats aren't mentioning you, John, because you're no longer considered a likely opponent. Thirdly, and most importantly, Bodhi used to live next door to three Marines. They moved out a few weeks ago because they were sent to Iraq. Most likely, the house will be rented out to three more Marines. These men are real, breathing, human beings for Bodhi, people with mothers and girlfriends, people that Bodhi likes to try and run up to and sniff and kiss. They are not just mere statistics to "brag" about in a campaign. John McCain, Bodhi used to respect you. Disagree with you, yes, but respect you nonetheless. No more.

Bridge Over Troubled Water

With apologies to Simon & Garfunkel, Bodhi couldn't help the pun. It seems some card-playing ladies have created an outrage that escapes Bodhi for expressing their freedom of speech. It was in China, but it's not the Chinese government that's upset. No, it's good ol' Americans. The U.S. Bridge Federation is threatening all sorts of punishments for the team who represented the United States at the world bridge championships. One of the gals wrote a note on the back of her menu saying "We did not vote for Bush" and it has created an uproar. Bodhi is assuming if she instead wrote "I love Mr. Bush" or "I voted for Bush" she would not be in so much trouble. The nasty ol' president of the U.S.B.F says the tournament is not the place to express political opinion. But when so many American men and women are dying in Iraq, and the vast majority of Americans oppose this war, and Bush is steamrolling ahead anyway in a very Un-American fashion--where ISN'T the place for such dissent? Bodhi says, shame on the U.S. Bridge Federation. In the spirit of Triumph the Insult Dog...Bodhi poops on you.

Pro-Life? Not Really.

The National Right-to-Life Committee is giving its endorsement to Fred Thompson. The Republican candidates are falling all over themselves to make sure they're labeled "pro-life." But how about some truth in advertising? Right to whose life? Bodhi is going to assume they mean the fetus's life. But a recent study by the World Health Organization found that Latin American countries--where the procedure is ILLEGAL--have the HIGHEST abortion rates in the world. And, because it's illegal, abortion is more dangerous, meaning more women die from the procedure.
So, let Bodhi see if he has this right. Make abortion illegal, and more fetuses and mothers die. Make it safe and legal, and fewer of these folks will die. So, when the National Right-to-Life committee is calling for the criminalization of abortion, it's actually calling for the death of more people. Which makes Fred Thompson, in addition to being a really bad actor, a hypocrite.

Hillary as Martina

Back to politics today for Bodhi. More specifically, Hillary Clinton. Her experience reminds Bodhi of a story Lady told him. When Lady's older sister was a teenager, she played tennis competitively. There was another player, named Madeline, who won lots of matches. But everyone knew she cheated. She's call good plays out, and good serves as long. Because there was no line judge, and no one wanted to call a 13-year-old a liar, Madeline kept winning matches. But then a very competitive player came along, who had no intention of losing to an unfair fight. She called Madeline what she was, a cheater, and even got an adult in the tennis league to watch one of her matches so it was documented Madeline cheated. After that, the parents banded together and made sure there was a line judge at all Madeline's matches. Suddenly, ol' Mad was no longer winning.
Bodhi knows this isn't the best analogy, but he's just a simple dog with simple thought processes.
Hillary is the competitive player who isn't about to let cheaters win, because she has played tennis against these same cheaters for fifteen years, and knows all their lies ahead of time. The other Democrats are kind of like the players who watch their competitor cheat, hoping to take the high road, when all that leads to is a lost match. They might even apologize for calling Madeline a liar. Jeez!
It's time to call in a player who knows how to win, not just lose gracefully.

A Brisket, A Tasket...

Bodhi is tired and full from all the brisket he ate tonight. His female guardian (heretofore known as "Lady") cooked a two-pound brisket for three hours at 325 degrees, bathed in a marinade of beer, garlic, chili sauce, ketchup, and brown sugar. Turned out much better than Bodhi thought it would. But then again, Bodhi eats cat poop every now and then, so he's not exactly an epicurean.

Be It Ever So Humble...

Again, today Bodhi is more philosophical than political. While walking, Bodhi (I like to refer to myself in the third dog) was looking at all the different types of houses and condos and apartments in his neighborhood. Bodhi noticed that some accentuate privacy...with fences and curtains in the windows and hedges blocking views from the sidewalk. Other homes tried as much as possible to make the outside part of the inside, with a clear path from the sidewalk to the backyard, and large windows that one can easily see out of, or into. Bodhi began to wonder if introverted people, who use the outside world only to validate the thoughts in their head, value privacy more. And if extroverted people, who prefer to live outside their head and in a world with other people as much as possible, prefer the unfenced kind of home.
Relax, Bodhi has never claimed to have a degree if philosophy. He's been homeschooled.

Bodhi is a Poster Boy with no Poster, He is 32 Flavors and Then Some

Bodhi is feeling more philosophical today than political. Bodhi's female guardian has started reading Eat, Love, Pray and has shared some of its wisdom with Bodhi. The sense is, if you want something enough, and want it in the right way, then it will come to you. And that seems to be the basic gist behind a lot of self-help books and religions. If you're life isn't going how you want, then you must pray, but pray to the right God, or you must read the right self-help book, like The Secret. Sometimes it's enough to make Bodhi feel like Skinner's pigeon.

Rudy Giuliani Rivals Michael Vick in Lameness

Can we as a nation of humans and dogs really afford another morally bankrupt Republican as president? Pat Robertson has endorsed Rude-dee, as a means of letting socially conservative (code for do as I say, not as I do) Republicans know he'll do their bidding if elected. Bodhi was already annoyed at Rudy's obnoxious abuse of the memory of 9/11 to gain popularity.
But it was Robertson who BLAMED AMERICANS for 9/11 in the days after the attacks, saying "We have sinned against Almighty God, at the highest level of our government, we've stuck our finger in your eye."
And it was on Robertson's TV program "The 700 Club" that Jerry Falwell infamously spouted,"I really believe that the pagans, and the abortionists, and the feminists, and the gays and the lesbians who are actively trying to make that an alternative lifestyle, the ACLU, People For the American Way, all of them who have tried to secularize America. I point the finger in their face and say 'you helped this happen.'"
The nerve, the guts, the gall, the audacity to BLAME AMERICANS for 9/11. Way to go, Rudy!